Thursday, December 20, 2007

TB'nB Products, Inc.

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" better than that sickly sound of your bike falling over on to the pavement. We've all heard it before - the sound of aluminum, or worse yet, carbon fiber hitting black tar can spoil any one's day within earshot (note, if your bike's made of steel, really, who gives a rat's ass?).

All manner of attachments can easily be destroyed by the zero mile-per-hour plummet - pedals, crank arms, bike computers, seat posts, and yes, even the occasional base bar can crack like Everyman on an Ironman run.

Fortunately, there is a solution. TB&B Products Inc in conjunction with NASA and the super-secret branch of the government that Tri-Dummy works for have developed a fall-proof anti-bike-tipping devise that we like to call "Alessandra (TM)".

For just $200 an hour you too can have the perfect must-have biking gadget that will leave all your roadie buddies drooling. Call our toll-free hot-line to have Alessandra (or a suitable substitute) shipped to your favorite bike-ride launch point. All we need is your bike size (we like to match up Alessandra leg lengths) and credit card number and you'll NEVER have to worry about broken base bars again! Get your loved one the perfect holiday gift!


Call now!

TB'nB is not responsible for broken heels or any additional bike seat wear that may occur from the use of our product. Minimum of 1 hr, all additional time billed by the half hour. Alessandras will not ride bike, have no mechanical training and frankly, you'll be lucky if she can form a complete sentence. Should the need arise, we do have our companion product, "Alfonzo" available at half price in limited supply. We say limited, 'cause Tri-Dummy just won't stop calling for the dude.

11 comments:

blink140pnt6 said...

With products like that... maybe it is all about the bike.

supalinds said...

How come I don't look like that on my bike. Damnit.

luke said...

Lets see...I have 2 bikes, looks like I'm going to need to order 2 "bike stands"...Thank you for this valuable ASSet to my bike collection.

JohnnyTri said...

I'm ordering one for the back and front end.. to make extra sure it doesn't fall!!

rockon`

Bolder said...

oh my

Dan Seifring said...

Very nice Bigun. That just might be the trick to get me to ride more.

Tea said...

I'm SO offended.

I'll never read your blog again.

Until tomorrow.

Comm's said...

I like the product so much...I bought the company!!

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

she can't ride in those shoes.

get the girl some proper riding shorts or she's gonna hurt tomorrow.

and a helmet, for jeebus' sake.

CoachLiz said...

Where's the pic of Alfonso???

Marjean said...

Good for people to know.