Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Cheering up

Work was horrible today - a long, painful story - so I need some cheering up. Nothing makes me happier these days then typing up some smack, Excel-man style. My wooping on him in the swim on Sunday was a culmination of, well, me training harder than him. Lets face it - I got 2 shots at opening up a can of woop-ass on him - the swim and the bike. The run, and hence the race overall, I just have to concede to Mr. Skinny.

Now here's a part of the results from June's Open Mile swim. You will note that Curt bust-a-cap in my ass and spanked me by 3:02. It was a perfectly calm day, water was like glass, 80 degrees...most women would have loved to swim in these conditions.

Here are part of the results from July's Open Mile swim, held just last week. You can see that Curt gained 3 placed in the overall standings, but the Bigun gained 7! His margin of victory was only 1:46, and I can tell you, the swim was rough! Like I said before, not as bad as St. Anthony's '06 (I know Curt can't relate having not done that race, but quite a few folks got pulled from the water that day!) but close. I liken it to the big boat theory. The Big Boat Theory is all about Sine waves and complex geomorhorfical equations and calculations, but the bottom line is that, a) the longer the boat, the faster it can go though water, and b) the bigger the boat, the better it handles rough seas.

So the final part of this smack-down was Sunday's swim - a paltry 1/3rd Mile swim compared to these mile jolts, however, the Bigun, for the first time against Curt in a Triathlon, was victorious with a faster swim split by all of 11 seconds...an eternity in the water.

As you will recall, the Bigun was again victorious against the (evil) Excel Man in the 15k bike Time Trial also held last week. What was the margin of victory in that little ol' race, you ask? One whole minute....a millennium on the open road. This was after he directed his wife to put a "BEAT Bigun" banner on my work trailer - can you believe this guy? Here we are, fellow West Point graduates, both of us an integral part of the Long Grey Line, and he has to slap me down like that. What ever happened to camaraderie? Teamwork? Fair Play even?

Well, no more swims in store for the Bigun vs. Excel Man match up. We may meet again for a bike Time Trial, a 30K - but that is iffy. Our next official, both-signed-up-for-it match up is The Florida Challenge Half Iron-Distance event on October 20th. This could be interesting.

Editor's note: I'm a stickler for the Truth - heck, I just quit a great 6-figure easy as you pleasy sales job because I just couldn't quibble with my customers anymore - so now I cut grass....anyway - Curt aka Excel Man is absolutely the most humble, giving, level-headed triathlete and friend you could meet - all this smack talk is almost 100% written in this blog. That makes all this even funnier, and the fact that I sucked him partially in to this smackage is even funnier still.

So what is it with me and this blog? For the most part, it's factual, but I like to bend the truth from time to time for humaphorical reasons. To spice it up. Is that ok? As long as I come clean, perhaps?


Comm's said...

your personality is as big as your....bike.

S. Baboo said...

Now I ask you, is there any justification greater than serving the humiphorical imperative?

Di said...

My dear sweet honey bunch!! I hope your day today is better. Love you and miss you!!

Unknown said...

Ideally, today will be vastly improved, and you'll still find something funny to blog about!

Anonymous said...


You were still on the wrong side of the decreased margin of victory at the Clearwater Beach Patrol Mile Swim.

I believe the reason the margin of victory decreased is that you were behind me and I drank over half of the waves before they got to you.

The next bike ITTs are 2 Aug (15k), 6 Sep (15k), and 7 Oct (30k). I'm going to see if I can get some hills put on the course. :^)

Hope you have a better day.

Tea said...

Of course adding "color" is not just acceptable, it's required for blog writing.

Brent Buckner said...

Humaphorical reasons forgive much!

Perhaps we need to study this via humaphorology

Unknown said...

I had to laugh when you whipped out the physics rationale comparing swimming to boats...... my dad taught physical science for years, ya made me think of him. Funny.

Green Eyed Lady (aka GEL) said...

Puhleasseeeeeee - I came up with "Beat Bigun" all by myself! LOL

bigmike600 said...

Bigun Sir-
I did not know you were a West Point Grad. I already had respect for you from your blog and your treatment/respect of other athletes regardless of skill level (I think everyone saw through the fake smack talk) but it just went to the next level. I toured West Point in 1986 with my high school government class (we had a former class president attending as a senior) and I saw how tough it was. Now I see where some of your drive comes from. I am really looking forward to meeting you and the Mrs. in Chicago.
Bad days always lead to good ones.