Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Bigun's a big jerk

Yea, I'm a bastard. I know it. I live with it. I try not to be, but as I get older...I just get worse. Case in point - I've got little to no tolerance for stupid people anymore. Yes, they are out there. Heck, I may be one of them.

So, last night was the first night of a 7 week, 3 nights a week, 3 hrs a session, class on tax preparation with H&R Block. Yes, the Bigun's going to do taxes this year. Come January, I'm the Tax Man. It's seasonal, it's part time, I can set my own hours, and I find a geeky, unnatural joy in doing taxes.

I get there on time, take a seat and look around...I'm the only dude in the whole class. My inner voice wants to ask if I'm in the right class...then one other dude shows up, and we are two out of about 15. No biggie. No hawties either...I know you were wondering! Up in the front row is Miss Chatty Kathy. Kathy is not her real name, and she has to be a "Miss" cause NO ONE would put up with her on a voluntary basis. This women did not shut up for 3 hrs! One stupid question (yes, oh yes there definitely ARE stupid questions!) after another, off topic questions and comments out the wazzo, and it seemed like every thought she had, she had to verbalize. We all even endured stories of her horrible childhood and miserable relationships - crap you don't talk about in a room full of strangers.

The Bigun kept his cool...and composure. The tax "manual" recommends "study partners" and at the first break, Miss Chatty's already asking around. I had to laugh - the first lady she asks almost said, "not only no but HELL no" but she was nice in her denial, which was surprising, since she seems like a bigger bastard than me. Her excuse was that she's a loner and does things on her own. A rather weak blow off, if you ask me, but effective. I can only hope I don't get the opportunity to give her both barrels. It could get ugly.

And last week...at my favorite bike path...who's there to meet me at mile 37? None other than Mr. Really Needs to Eat a Can Of Shut The Hell Up! And he really flew his true colors on this ride...not only did he talk incessantly (while drafting, of course), but he told of poor sportsmanship habits of his, like when he passes people on a run, he says stuff like, "so, you went out a bit too quickly, eh?" - I can still here his cackle after hearing that story at least twice. I should have told him then that he's an ass, but I just asked him if he thought that was kinda mean-spirited. He said something about making it fun, and I knew any additional comment would be wasted. Ya just don't have a bicycle pump when you need one.

23 comments:

Fe-lady said...

I will e-mail you a picture that I want to put on the back of a bike jersey...it's better than "shut the hell up!"

Bill said...

Get used to the stupid people.

I volunteered as a tax preparer for young enlisted military folks. Several had done their taxes and walked in proud, thinking they were getting hundreds of dollars for their return. They certainly didn't like me much when I sat down with them, walked through the process and explained that, regardless of what their buddy down the block said, they could not claim 7 exemptions as a single guy and expect to get a refund. "Matter of fact, you owe $700".

You'll learn great tolerance. I didn't, so I refused to do it again.

J-Wim said...

OMG funny.
The older I get the less tolerant I get of stupidity or rudeness in others myself. I have a REALLY hard time stifling my sarcastic comments or even laughing out loud.
it just falls out of my mouth before I can stop it. Usually accompanied by an eye roll.

S. Baboo said...

Hey, point that guy out to me some race and I'll peanalize the &%$@# out of him USAT style...deal?

Comm's said...

There isn't more than about a paragraph of words allowed in my tri group before the official 'Hacking' begins.

Sometimes, one just needs to show up to be the official punching bag of the moment.

never underestimate the power of snide comments.

"Hey, while your back there sucking my draft you mind scratching my ass or take a turn up front."

Brent Buckner said...

Tax preparation - wow, I'm sure Bill nailed it - your people skillz will get a workout!

momo said...

sounds to me like you call it like you see it - nothing jerky about that. :-)

i had one of those question askers in my defensive driving class. luckily it was only 8 hours long!

luke said...

Don't let Bigun fool you, he's really a big softie. If she asked him to be his partner, he wouldn't have had the heart to tell her no.

bigmike600 said...

Somehow I don't see Bigun being rude and mean to that woman either. I think if she would have asked nicely, he would not have said no, in fact I bet he may have even give free lawn care advice or a coupon for 20% off a mow and trim.
I don't have great people skills either, and I'm in sales. No wonder I can't sell water to someone dying of thirst.

bigmike600 said...

one more thing...mama always said stupid is as stupid does.

Dying Water Buffalo said...

You are so cute when you are cranky :)

Spokane Al said...

Remember that when we get older we will be just like we are now, only a lot worse.

Andra Sue said...

God, I hate people who like to hear themselves talk and never have anything relevant to say. And it's even worse when they're stupid. And not hawt. :(

TriFeist said...

Group study is highly overrated. Good luck with the class.

Tea said...

OMIGAWD, I am so fed up with stupid people that I have been known to pretend I don't speak english. I guess that one would be hard to pull off in a tax class.

You know that saying? There are no stupid questions only stupid people.

blink140pnt6 said...

A well placed snot rocket can solve a lot of problems.

Mommymeepa said...

Hi, I found your blog on Duanes blog and checked it out. You had me laughing so hard. Thanks. I could just picture that lady becasue I know a couple of people like that. I agree with blink a snot rocket might solve your problems although I'm not sure how that would go over in a tax class. LOLOLOL

Later, Melissa
www.mommymeepa.blogspot.com

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

rude people and stupid people are never cool.

I can't believe you have the patience (and people skills) to do the tax thing!

Renae said...

I have a guy, like your lady, in my class(es) at school. It seems like every semester I end up with him in a class with me. It's awful, but usually by the end of the semester the professors can't take it anymore and put him in his place. Hope you don't accidentally strangle her.

Green Eyed Lady (aka GEL) said...

I can't wait for the tax stories to start rolling in. I think my favorite is the soldier who thought he could deduct hair cuts BECAUSE they were required AND because he had them done during work hours.

Tri-Dummy said...

Blink throws snot rockets...I choose mustard gas.

Start pushing the pace...it gets their mouth open a little...let 'er fly.

If it's a good one...they can taste it a little.

excel man said...

I didn't know that Shut the H&ll Up came in packs! The Army serves nice hot cups of Shut the F#$k Up though. Of course we need it since we have so many stupid people - you know - the ones that can't do their taxes correctly. They are smart enough to carry out their mission in the face of incredible danger though. You know, IEDs, 107mm rockets, 122mm mortars, AK-47 fire. Danger one is not likely to face while preparing taxes. Three of them die and 10-20 are wounded every day in Iraq. Some days it seems like the medevac choppers never stop - the occupants are not worried about taxes. Bill, would you like a nice hot cup of.....
Sorry, you touched a nerve Bill.

As always, Blink and Tri-D are correct (and funny). Peeing off of the bike is also an effective way to deal with drafters.

tri-dogmom said...

I am SO with you bigun! I had 6 weeks of RE classes FULL of STUPID people, asking STUPID questions.... I really had no idea THOSE people were out there...

Simply unbelievable!

Good luck ;-)