Friday, September 14, 2007

Jelly Donuts

A weird thing happened to the Bigun today. 2200 meters into a...longer swim...I developed an intestinal urgency, unlike any I've had on previous swims. Making matters worse, I was still 50m away from the side of the pool where the bathroom was. That was a long 50 meters.

The break took the wind out of my sails. I finished out the 2500m, did an extra lap for the heck of it and then ran back home. Maybe it was the run to the pool that did me in? My goal was to do that run-swim-run workout twice this week, and I did it. That was a long 3 mile run home.




If you are still with me, I have a question for you. Andra Sue has a thing for donuts, like, who doesn't, right? I mean, donuts are still good when you leave them in the box three days after you bought them! They come with thier own handles. Someone even made earrings out of them (I wonder if they are edible?)Stale donuts are better than, say, broccoli any day and twice on Sunday. Off topic, but at Dunkin Donuts, not only can you get the best treat known to man, but you can wash it down with the best coffe known to man.


So, my question for you is, when it comes to filled donuts, like jelly donuts or Boston Cremes, are you a "from the hole" or a "to the hole" donut eater?


I can see the rational for either. I'm a "from the hole" donut eater - I like to spin that bad boy around until I find the entry point of all that sweet, gooey wonderfulness and it's from there I take my first bite. If you start from the exact opposite end, well, sure you get a giant heaping first bite of jelly, but you also run the risk of said jelly shooting out of the hole and all over your hand, or skirt, or tie, or running shoes in the case of most of us.

You can tell a lot about the quality of a jelly donut from the first bite when it's "from the hole". If that first bite is sans jelly...that donut gets a big red slash from the judges. It's sorely lacking the amounts of jelly necessary to qualify as a standard jelly donut by Judge Bigun. Take that first bite, and the back side splits open with a bulge of raspberry jelly now in the palm of your hand...another red slash across the donut race number! Another jelly donut manufacturing faux-paux. Poor quality. Sub-standard. If you eat "to the hole", you can never really tell these things about the luscious delectable you grasp in your sugar and caffeine-induced quivering hands.

Or, you could be the kind of weirdo that just picks up the alleged aforementioned jelly donut and simply digs in, care free and unbeknownst to the whereabouts of the hole. You, my friend, have a lot to learn.

From the hole, baby...from the hole.

23 comments:

Wendy said...

Not only do I have a lot to learn, Bigun, but ... I don't much care for filled doughnuts! Although I can be convinced to have an apple fritter or a dutchie ...

Tri-Dummy said...

I figured you for a "stick your tongue in the hole and suck out the jelly" guy. That's what I do. You have to give it a little squeeze, though. Don't worry, the donut likes it rough.

Jenny Davidson said...

Definitely from the hole.

I have frankly not had a jelly doughnut for years, but I do think that they are the most delicious thing, second only to the glazed doughnut, which has a purity and elegance the jelly one lacks. However the jelly doughnuts in England (where my grandparents lived when I was a kid) are so superior to the American ones that I pretty much can't eat American ones, it's not worth it--try one if you ever get over there--like real good strawberry-jam-type jelly in the middle, some real serious deep-frying, and delicious crunchy granulated sugar instead of powdered...

(Hmmm, just got back from a ten-mile run, better eat something nutritious!)

Green Eyed Lady (aka GEL) said...

I'm a weirdo but no news there. I just eat the donut. And something else weird I do (it was just brought to my attention) is that I put the peanut butter on the bread and the jelly on top. I guess most people put the pb on one slice and the j on the other. And you?

Green Eyed Lady (aka GEL) said...

tri-dummy, that comment was hilarious!

excel man said...

Hey Dude -

Donuts are better than brocoli? I don't want to hear that! There are not many foods better than brocoli.

From the hole or to the hole? How about toss the hole in the trash!
What are the two most deadly foods in the world? donuts and french fries! If you don't believe me just watch the entire movie and see what happens to Private Pyle.

I did the Hillsborogh County Sheriff's Office 5 k Ranch Run this morning. They had their cadets running in formation. A formation that finished 5k in 42+ minutes. Most of them looked like they would have been more comfortable in a donut shop.

There may be a Clydesdale diet joke in this post somewhere.

I'm with GEL... Tri-D is funny.

Di aka "Mrs Bigun" said...

ROTFLMAO AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!TriDummy you crack me up!
"...the dount likes it rough." sick ticket. lol

Bigun said...

putting jelly on top of the penut butter is akin to jelly first, PB second...thus getting jelly all in the PB jar. I even take care to open up my PB&J's sandwich bread so that they are mirror imaged on the counter, then after you PB one sice, and Jelly the other, the edges all line back up just right. OCD...naaaa...

JohnnyTri said...

From the hole.. here!
only way to serve it up..

bigun.. I think your still suffering from Lawn Bonk and wasp sprints..lol

rockon`

Steve S. said...

From the hole. With a little tongue action first. This all sounds very dirty, but it isn't supposed to be...

J-Wim said...

From the hole here.
Dunkins are good, but Krispy Kreme is the top dog.
Who has donuts in their house for 3 days? I'm lucky if they don't all get eaten in the car on the way home!

J-Wim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bigmike600 said...

Before I put my 2 weeks notice into Dunkin Donuts that I was not going to cash my checks there anymore and eat donuts for hours, I was a one biter. Shove that mother in get a couple quick chews in and down it goes...time for another donut.

S. Baboo said...

Ok, I'm leaving this one alone for, shall we say...pirvacy reasons...ahem.

blink140pnt6 said...

I see Dummy has recovered from his IM and is posting again.

I for one will take broccoli any day over donuts.

That's just me.

luke said...

naughty, naughty....It sounds like those last ten lbs you are looking to lose are being held on with donut jelly.

Andra Sue said...

Okay, to clarify one point--I'm only obsessed with donuts insofar as to the fact that I don't allow myself to eat them because they are the devil. But they are in fact quite tasty. A conundrum, yes?

And to answer your question, Bigun...I abhor jelly donuts (and all jelly actually--it's slimey), so I'm neither a to the hole or from the hole eater. Sorry...

Dan Seifring said...

I got to say to the hole.

Nice job on the bricks this past week.

Megan said...

I am definately a from the hole kinda gal, but I usually prefer the chocolate long johns, or glazed. Ahhh, donuts. You really can't write enough about them.

Steve getting fit said...

Who thinks up the names for donuts anyway. Locally we have the "creme stick" a local ohio favorite and then thyers the "long john"

But for sure from the hole.

TriFeist said...

I'm more of a Boston Creme girl than a jelly donout person but my vote is From the Hole.

Comm's said...

i am a maple bar kind of guy. Whats that say about me.

Your right on the money. Dunkin Doughnuts has the best coffee in the universe.

GeekGirl said...

Krispy Kremes,my dear.
Purists don't look, they just start eating. With their eyes closed. While humming 'Ave Maria'.