Weekend Update

One Adam 12, One Adam 12, see the man...that's right, folks, we have a new MAN. Don't hate the man. You know you wanna be the MAN. Our ever-racing Clydesdale stud Sweet Baboo has his striped shirt on and rule book in hand, heading to a USAT-sanctioned triathlon near you as an official USAT...Official! What I don't get is the whole male-on-male motorcycle riding thing. I mean, spending a morning with your best bud on the back of his bike just screams GAY! Maybe it's just me. (and no, that's not Roman on the back of that bike, either..but it kinda looks like him...hmmm)

Ironman Wisconsin has come and gone, with no lack of race reportage and plenty of photo documentation of the event. Awesome job everyone. Some things are now more clear than they were before the race.

Greyhound's wife loves his ass.

Texafornia looks a whole lot like Steve Buscemi. Old Crazy Eyes! Oh, we here at Bigun Studios could have went another way...like using the pics of Jetpack and Tex frolicking on the ground on top of each other...but kids watch this show....

Ironman Official are on the lookout for whomever casued the deflation of a very valuable piece of merchandizing. In this photo obtained by Weekend Update, we think it was IronWil's freshly manicured Guido-like nails that did the trick. Or not.

As hard as Roman tries, he's just not going to fly

- he forgot his cape.

And speaking of capes, we have the venerable caped crusader Taconite Boy in the studio with us today. Welcome Taconite Boy to Weekend Update!

TB: It's Taconite Man.

Bigun: Excuse me?

TM: It's Taconite Man. I finished IMMOO, I saved the whole town of Madison from impending doom and almost certain certain power outage - now I'm Taconite Man.

Bigun: Sorry, it says here on the card Taconite Boy, I didn't mean anything by it.

TM: Good, 'cause if Trimama hears...

Trimama: What did he call you? That son-of-a-bitch Bigun - can't you get anything right?

Bigun: Really, I'm sorry - hey, tell us about those capes - you did a great job with those!

Trimama: Dont' be changing the subject with me, ya Ape. This man went 140.6 miles - no "boy's" gonna do that - it's "Man" for now on, you got it, or do I have to come over there?

TM: Thanks, dearest...I think he's got it..

Trimama: Don't "dearest" me, we still got to pay for all those cow print M-dot shirts you bought!

TM: Sorry.

Bigun: Ok, Taconite Man - great job. Trimama - please don't hurt me! Lets have a round of applause for the Superhero Iron-family...two Ironman, one pair of Iron Pants. Ehem...

In a related story, TriDummy raced across the IM finish line to be nary heard from again for weeks on end. He finally surfaced after a drunken, 10-state hell ride to be completely covered in fresh tattoos and hair. We now know that Tri-Dummy is Greek. Or he at least likes Greeks. Which explains a LOT. Check out this un-retouched IM tattoo - this is a Weekend Update scoop, folks, you'll see it first here! What is that? What? Copyright laws?!?! You guys get me a clear photo of that tattoo ASAP...uh, sorry folks, we seem to be having technical difficulties.

And in a final, heartwarming story, Blink, the Blinkster, Mr. Blink or Papa Blink, as his kids, the Blinkettes call him, finished his 52-mile ultra distance run last week in...well...it was uber-fast (almost let a fact slip in there). On the advise of the Bigun, Blink set out his journey with a pre-race banquet of donuts, kit-cats and a Coke (standard Clydesdale pre-race nutrition). His one-day Clydesdale card was in jeopardy of being revoked, however, his 170lb manliness bellied up to the table and did what was necessary to take the Clydesdale win and forever hold the Clydesdale world record at the Bohemian Alps Run. I'm so proud.